Fine. I'll say it. I'm scared. I'm scared to become like everyone else. I'm scared that the same things that happened to everyone else will happen to me. I'm scared to raise a child alone. I'm scared to have to put my kid through that. I'm scared to struggle financially. I'm scared to get married and have it end in divorce. I'm scared to be unhappy. I'm scared to do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing. I'm scared to fall in love and have my heart broken. I'm scared to pick the wrong person. I'm scared our feelings will change. I'm scared our plans will change. I'm scared that we'll want the same things initially and not agree when it comes down to it. I'm scared that we're not right for each other. The hurtful things that we say to each other when we're angry...how much of that is the truth? Are we really only happy when we're fucking? I didn't think so. I didn't think we were fighting that much. Are we really not happy? Doesn't every couple fight? Do they fight as much as we do? How do you know when it's too much? At what point is it not healthy anymore? Don't we still love each other? Full heartedly, intense, weak in the knees, forever and ever kind of love? I can't let go of anything. I can't fully accept apologies. An apology is when you say sorry for something that you did and have every intention to not ever do it again. I never believe that your mistakes are a one time deal. They never are. We often have the same arguments. I'm not nagging and I'm not wrong and I won't back down. There are a lot of things I think about that I don't say out loud. I'm constantly thinking about our future and your track record in our relationship. I don't want to waste my time in this. I don't feel like I want to walk away but I also don't want to keep dealing with the same shit all the time.

We live in a generation of not being in love, and not being together But we sure make it feel like we're together Because we're scared to see each other with somebody else.