In only two generations, the values between my grandparents and I have changed greatly. I am a tattooed and pierced, openly sexual, pro-choice, pro-equal rights, 19-year-old girl. My grandparents are anti-pre-marital sex, anti-gay rights, conservative, pro-life, pastors of a Pentecostal church. I believe that I am free to pierce and tattoo my body as I please but they are strongly against any type of body modification. Their religious beliefs are what motivate almost every aspect of their life and I have not yet chose a religion and am not sure I ever will. When it came time to vote for a president, my grandparents voted based on religious beliefs, whereas I voted on the best candidate for my needs. Despite our many differences, if their religious views were not as strong as they are, I don't think I would hold the positive values that they taught me, such as marriage, charity and family, so close to my heart.
When I was 15, I started to pierce my ears past the first hole. My grandfather would make comments that three holes in each ear were three too many. When I got to six holes in each ear, he told me that I had to stop piercing my ears because God created my body and it was not meant to look like that. When I pierced my eyebrow, he did not speak to me for months. On my 18th birthday, I got my first tattoo on the back of my neck. For a year and a half after that day, I hid the fact that I had purposely scarred my body for life. It is not that I was ashamed or regretted what I did; I just was trying to put-off an unavoidable lecture. One day I decided that I was tired of pulling my hair out of bun when I saw they were coming or putting a hood up on my sweater. I went to a family birthday party with my hair up. I know my grandmother saw it but she did not say anything. When my grandfather saw it a few days later, they both lectured me on their beliefs that "the body is a temple" and God created it the way he wanted to. They said that if He wanted that there on my neck, He would have put it there. Several months and six tattoos later, my grandfather would continue to tell me that it pains him every time he sees any of my tattoos.
I believe that people should be free to live their lives the way they want to. I do not believe that my way of thinking and living is the "right" way and I never push my beliefs on anyone else. My grandparents believe that every person should marry someone of the opposite sex and that homosexuality is wrong. I have tried to argue with them that asking homosexuals to change and conform to their beliefs is not a way of loving them and accepting them, they tell me I am wrong. My grandmother explained to me that God teaches you to love everyone and accept everyone as the way He created him or her. The way they do that is by welcoming them into the church and explaining to them that homosexuality is a sin and if they stop now, God will forgive them and they will go to Heaven. The way I see it, that is not acceptance at all. That is asking someone to change who he or she is and whom he or she loves. I believe that homosexuality is not a choice and not something that you can just stop doing. I believe that just as heterosexuals do not choose to be attracted to the opposite sex, homosexuals do not choose to be attracted to the same sex. I believe in freedom. I believe that people should be able to live their lives as they want to. My grandparents also believe that their way is the way everyone should be living. I am pro-choice. I could never see myself having an abortion, but I do not think it is my place or anyone else's place to tell a woman that she cannot. It is called pro-choice because it should be the individual's choice, no one else's. My grandmother argues that if she and my grandfather condoned abortion, my mother might have thought that it was okay to have one when she became pregnant with me at 17. Yes, I would not be here if she did, but I still strongly believe that she had a choice of options. If abortion were illegal and she was too scared to tell them she was pregnant, she might have tried to get one illegally and harm herself greatly or could have even died. I would not want something like that to happen to anyone, so I believe that women should have the option to have an abortion safely. All of this was a factor in voting for our Presidential candidates in November 2008. Neither of us has a lot of money and should have voted for the democratic candidate, but my grandparents voted republican because of their religious views and because they believe in pushing them on everyone else.
Although there are many differences in values between my grandparents and I, I do believe that if they're religious beliefs were not as strong as they are, I would not be the same good person I believe myself to be. They have showed me many positive ways to be a great person, starting with themselves. They have always been affectionate towards each other. There are not many couples you see at that age and after 25 years of marriage that still cuddle on the couch. They have always been completely devoted to each other and always do everything together. When they must part for religious retreats, they always call and say they miss each other. They have shown me how important it is to take marriage seriously and always try hard to make it last. They really are two of the kindest people around. They have always opened their home and their church to those who needed food, shelter, or guidance. When the phone rings in the middle of the night, they answer it and will sometimes talk for hours to someone who needs them. They have always been nice to everyone. Since I was little, I often went with them to feed or clothe the homeless. When I was in the seventh grade, they took me with them to Mexico to teach women how to sew so they could find more job opportunities. They have always taught me the importance of charity because their religion teaches kindness. If they would have not felt so strongly for it, I might not feel so strongly about helping others even without religion.
The big differences I stated are based on the way my grandparents and I act towards other people, present ourselves and what we believe in. My views are all based on my belief that I still do not know what is going to happen to me when I die. I refuse to spend my life I am living now, worrying about my next life, when there is no proof that heaven and hell really exist. My grandparents spend their lives in fear of God but also loving Him unconditionally. I know that this life is real because I am here now and I am living it. I am not going to waste it in fear of something that I do not know is real. I do believe that some good comes out of religion, such as eternal love and charity. However, I do believe that you can have those positive things in your life without religion. I believe that people created religion to make themselves feel better about dying or answer some questions as to why we're here and to create rules. However, I believe you can have those things with government creating laws and science getting closer every day to tell us some of the answers that religion has for us today.
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